Welcome to free spirit friday! First and foremost, I’m pretty much always listening to music while I work, typically choosing songs that pertain to my current mood. So I thought it would be cool to let you know what song I’m listening to as I’m blogging. Feel free to click here and listen to it while you’re reading if you want the full on, free-spirit-friday experience Right now I’m listening to Natasha Bedingfield’s “Weightless”. It’s incredibly significant for me right now
I thought it would be nice to break up some of the photography posts every once and a while with something a little more personal! This job is one in which we invest ourselves physically, mentally, creatively, etc., so it’s only fair that we get to know each other. I’ll be posting once a week, on fridays, about whatever is going on. Maybe it will include some photography, maybe not. Maybe it’s about a new product I love, maybe I’ll decide to pour out emotions from the depth of my soul. Just kidding.Today I’m just going to write. Most of you know that I am planning to move to San Francisco this year. Well, things are starting to get REAL here, and unfortunately there’s no book of rules on how to do it. I’ve dubbed 2014 “The year of the panic attack”. The last few weeks have been rough, and sometimes you just need the right person to say the right thing to you to make you realize that it’ll all work out. I’m about to write a lot…you’ve been warned 😉
Today’s post is dedicated to my friend Paige…
Moving myself to San Francisco, yeah I can do that. But moving my business has proved to be quite difficult and frustrating. All of my clients are here…do I keep booking a few weddings here and just fly back? How do I know when to cut off booking weddings here? What if I don’t book enough weddings in CA? Do I raise my prices? How much? Do I charge the same in OH and CA? How is it going to work with taxes? How do I charge for travel? Do I need to have a car in the city? Do I drive it to CA or do I sell it and buy a new one in CA? When do I sell it? HOW do I sell it? When do I sell the rest of my stuff in my current apartment? How do I even begin to start researching moving companies? How do I coordinate the arrival of my stuff in San Francisco with my arrival? When do I put a deposit on an apartment? How do I pick a date to move? How do I know how much of my “stuff” I need to get rid of? What do I say when people ask me when I’m moving? What if I can’t find a good apartment in the time that I’m there looking for one? Or worse, what if I find a great apartment but there’s no Whole Foods nearby? (kidding). But seriously; I can’t get my brain to shut off. I wake up in the middle of the night, thinking about something I hadn’t thought of before. Don’t get me wrong, I am CRAZY, incredibly excited to start a new adventure, and don’t regret my decision at all, but there are SO many “what if’s” in my world right now. So much uncertainty. And please don’t mistake this as me complaining- I am merely just trying to physically put these thoughts somewhere else other than my head for now! Each day is different, and recently I’ve had a lot of days where I feel like it’s never going to happen- I can’t do it. It’s too much. The only way I can compare it is this: I’ve always been an artist- it was pretty much the only thing I excelled in. I can remember in high school, being in all the advanced art classes, and independent studies; being one of the “good artists”. And then I went to art school and majored in fine art. Suddenly everyone around you is just as talented as you, if not more, and nobody really notices you that much anymore. By NO means am I saying that I am one of the best photographers here, but I am comfortable. I have clients that refer me, I have a great network of other photographers. I feel “good” about my business here. What’s going to happen when I move? It’s going to be a challenge, and I need to be OK with it taking time. I’m confident in my skills, I just need to keep doing what I’m doing.
Today was a particularly challenging day. Some days I honestly just can’t shut it off. Days like today make me want to grab my purse and my cat and get on a plane to San Francisco and be done with it. I JUST WANT TO BE THERE! I just want to be there now.
Here is where my friend Paige comes in. Let me preface this by saying, Paige is unlike any other friend I’ve had. We met almost 2 years ago at a photography workshop, along with a few other girls, and we all immediately became friends. Paige is hilarious, sincere, carefree, selfless, and you can pretty much always count on her to show up with a bottle of tequila. She is the cool-as-a-cucumber, surfer chick that would do anything for the people she loves. Poor Paige just had a sweet baby boy 9 weeks early, and hasn’t been able to hold him for 5 days. I feel like my problems are insignificant when I think about what she’s going through. I was texting with her the other day, checking in on baby Otto and making sure she was still in good spirits! She of course was. We briefly talked about how I was feeling about my move and how I am just having a rough time with it lately, and she said something to me that was so “matter of fact”, and so simple, and it punched me in the gut. She said “I’m sure once you transition, you’re going to rock SF. People who follow their dreams always come out on top”. And it instantly made me feel better. Sometimes you just need someone to take it down a notch for you. She’s right- no matter what I do, I’m doing the right thing because I’m following my heart. I can’t go wrong. THAT’S comforting! Sometimes I need to practice what I preach- everything DOES happen for a reason, and things will fall into place exactly the way they’re supposed to. If I can’t move in May, maybe it’s because I’ll be able to find an amazing apartment in June. Serendipity, right? Anyways, it was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you, Paige! Hopefully you were able to pass some time by reading this, and you’re closer to being able to snuggle baby Otto! I cannot wait to meet him!
So that’s all for now. They won’t all be this long and emotional, and they won’t all be about my move